Where Repentance and Fatherhood Meet

One of the more well known parables in the Bible is the story of the prodigal son. There are so many different lessons that can be drawn from this one parable. You could do an entire lesson on the repentance of the young man who had lost his way. You could talk about the love and forgiveness of the young man's father upon his return. I've even heard spectacular sermons being taught on the young man's brother, "the other prodigal", and how important it is for us to overcome feelings of jealousy and unfairness. These are all such great things to be learned and I appreciate them, but there is one principle in particular that has influenced me greatly in the last few weeks. I believe the foundation for this principle was laid long before the opening of the story. It's simply the story of how great an example this father was to his sons and the impact it ultimately had on his wayward child.

Let's start at the beginning. The young son comes to his father and asks for his half of the inheritance, which he quickly goes out and wastes in what the scriptures call "riotous living." The Father had to know that this would happen. He probably knew his son better than anyone, and he knew that his son was not old enough or responsible enough to handle all that money, but he gave it to him anyways. I think this Father understood the importance of personal agency very well, and he knew that his son needed to choose for himself and learn from his own experience. He already knew where his son's heart was, and that with or without the money he would go off on his own and rebel. His dad was more concerned about maintaining a loving relationship with his son, because he knew that if his son did ever decide to change he wanted him to know that he had a place to come back to, and that's exactly what happened. Once the son came to himself, he realized that he could return to his father and that his father would take him in, even if it was just as a servant. Of course, his dad took him in as much more than a servant. It was a happy and loving reunion that only happened because of the righteous and loving example this father showed to his son. Find this in Luke chapter 15

Another scriptural example that has been impressed upon my mind lately is from the Book of Mormon. The story of Alma the younger is a staple for teaching change and repentance in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's the story of a young man and his friends who go around attempting to destroy the church and who are even called "The Vilest of Sinners." Once, while they were going around being punks, an angel visits them and knocks them to the ground and commands them to stop what they are doing. Poor Alma is knocked unconscious for three days, but once he wakes up he is completely changed. He later goes on to become a beloved and inspired prophet and the high priest of the church. It is even suggested that he never physically died and that he was taken up even as Moses was. That's pretty incredible, right? A "vile sinner" could change so much that he could become one of God's chosen servants and mouthpieces here on Earth? Of course he can, that is the nature of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. People can change. 

What I think I always overlooked in this story, however, was the role that Alma the Elder, Alma's father, played in his son's conversion. The angel declared that he was there because the Lord had heard the prayers of his servant Alma. So the angel was there, in part, because a father had been praying for his son. What really gets me though is the next part. When Alma the Younger is close to the end of his life and giving fatherly advice to his own sons, he reflects upon that experience he had with the angel. Here are his own words:

16 And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.

17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. (Alma 36:16-19)

In the end, it was a memory of his Father's example that helped him come to Christ and change, just like the Prodigal son with his father. Good fathers have an impact on their children that sometimes might not be recognized until much later on. Notice that I did not say perfect fathers. We don't know anything about the life of the prodigal's father, but I'm sure he had things to overcome. We do know that Alma the Elder was at one point one of the wicked priests of King Noah and that he did some pretty bad stuff. Imagine, for a second, that he had not fled from King Noah and changed his life. He never would have been able to become the father that his son would have needed in order to become a prophet and disciple of Jesus Christ, and that would have been a tragedy. 

Sometimes, however, fathers don't change their lives and they aren't good examples for their children. We see these poisonous cycles happen all the time, and they give some truth to the saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." This can be a scary thought, because I think we all see things in our parents that we don't want to carry over into our own lives. In response to these feelings, I would like to mention a story I heard a few months ago in Church. I was in Gilbert for the weekend, and I wasn't completely sure where I wanted to go to church. I ended up hanging out with one of my buddies, and he invited me to come to his new ward with him because it would be his first day, so I tagged along. An older man spoke, and I know that I had needed to hear that message. My father is amazing, and I love him to death. He is quite literally my best friend. But he has been divorced twice, and that has always been in the back of my mind. I don't judge him for that, and I know his circumstances were a lot different than mine, but the idea of getting married has always terrified me because sometimes I really doubt that I can do it successfully. Well the man that gave a talk spoke about how when he was getting engaged, his father was on his fifth marriage. That caused a lot of anxiety and fear and he even broke up with his girlfriend because of it! Later, he said that the spirit whispered to him "you don't have to be like him." It was a simple phrase, but obviously it changed his life because he was able to convince her to take him back and they have been together for like forty years or something. My story is not nearly as extreme, and I want to be like my dad in a lot of things, but what I learned  was that if there is something about our family heritage we don't like, we have the power to change it. We are not stuck in what has happened before, rather we can actually be a powerful influence for those that come after us.

I'll end with this. I love my Dad. He's not perfect, but no one is. We haven't been able to see each other as much since I've moved to Tucson, but one of my favorite things to do has and always will be going to see a movie with him and then standing in the parking lot with him just talking about life. We've been doing that ever since I can remember, and it always makes me so happy. He has always been quick to give advice and impart wisdom to me when I need it, and sometimes he doesn't even know that I need it.

In a book I'm reading there is a part where the author asks you to envision being at your own funeral in three years. Who would speak? What would they say about you? It was such a peaceful, eye-opening experience. The only person I could see was my father, telling everybody in the congregation how proud he was of the man I had become. I could feel his love for me as I pictured this, and it forever changed the way I see him.

Happy Father's Day.

Um, It's Actually Pronounced Prii.

I want to tell you guys about an awesome girl that came into my life recently. She is strong, independent, and has a huge heart. She is always looking to help others and does her best to make the world a better place. Se is also quite possibly the most beautiful woman ever. Her name is Diana. Here's a picture:


She is such a light in my life. Make sure to comment and leave your addresses!

On a serious note, Wonder Woman was really good. (Possible Spoiler Alert).  I loved it because I personally believe she exemplified the perfect role model of what a strong independent woman is supposed to be, and it was done in a tasteful way. Her being super awesome didn't take away from the male protagonist in the story at all. In fact he is necessary in their journey and is instrumental in helping Wonder Woman recognize her true identity and destiny. In the end he even sacrifices himself, saving millions.

I will say this very clearly... Misogyny is alive and well in the world. The wage gap is more than real, even though that semi-convincing, out of context demographic your super right-wing uncle posts on Facebook says otherwise. I come from a family full of powerhouse women, and I know they don't make as much as their male counterparts. I'm aspiring to be an Optometrist, which is a field that tends to produce more women than men, and even in that environment women only make about 84% of what men are making. There is a lot more than the wage gap issue, of course. That is just one example. These things are a problem and we still have a lot of work to do.

Men should not be threatened by a successful woman. On the contrary, I think real men are excited by the idea of being with a lady who is a "wonder woman" in her own way. It is possible, however, to miss the mark when we are raising our daughters to grow up and be strong women. What I absolutely adored about Wonder Woman was the astounding amount of compassion and love that she showed throughout the movie. She had a goal for herself and a journey that she was on, but that didn't mean that she gave up on or ignored other important aspects of life. Even though she was completely capable of handling herself, she CHOSE to have a man in her life. Ladies, nothing is sexier than that. I think my good friend Ne-Yo said it best:

Oh is something about
Just something about the way she move
I can't figure it out
Is something about her

Say, oh is something about
Kinda woman that want you but don't need you
Hey, I can't figure it out
Is something about her

So girls, you do you! Be successful! Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. But don't be afraid to let someone else into your life if you really want to. My fellow stephen covey fans will know that while being independent is absolutely necessary, the end goal is to become interdependent. That means that we maintain important relationships in order to raise each other up to higher planes. Planes that we couldn't reach on our own.

I'm single so I can't speak from experience, but I believe marriage is the best opportunity to achieve that interdependence. I will keep you posted on what happens with me and Diana.

One last thought. I was talking to a friend recently and we starting discussing some of her dating woes here in Tucson. Personally, I think there are a ton of amazing women here in Tucson that I could potentially date, and I don't feel particularly worried about it. I know it will work out as I do my part. For her, however, the options seem pretty scarce. From her point of view she has a hard time finding any men here that are really worth her time.

That sounds really harsh, but I have to agree to at least some extent. Where are all the real men at?

When I say real men, I do not mean the generic "manly man" stereotype that comes to mind. Men that show no emotions while driving their pickup trucks on their way to a football game  while chugging a protein shake. That's not what I mean at all, and it's definitely not what she meant. Her complaints had to do with how casually the men in her ward are with living the gospel and keeping the covenants they've made. She shared stories of her constantly feeling uncomfortable at guys houses because of them only picking out inappropriate movies that she knows they know they shouldn't watch. Or other stories of constant temple trips with only girls because so many guys in her ward don't make the temple a priority at all, even though it's a place where at some point in their life they made sacred covenants.

Before I go on I want to say two things.

1. I am not saying that being a real man has to do with being a Mormon. I think what my friend was really upset about was the lack of integrity being shown to the commitments previously made. That same lack of integrity could be shown in any religion, profession, or culture. So again, not a mormon thing at all, I just happened to be talking to a mormon. The same principles relate anywhere.

2. I am just pointing something out and am in no way claiming to be perfect. I struggle everyday to keep promises and commitments. I've let many people down and I'm sure I still will in the future. I simply hope we can all learn and do better.

anyways...

So guys, let's be the type of men these strong independent women are looking for. You can't expect to be anything less than Superman if you want to date Wonder Woman!

Drive your trucks, play football, drink protein shakes.... There's nothing wrong with those "manly" things and I do a lot of them as well! But please don't let those things be the mark of your true manhood. I drive a Prius and am currently reading a Nicholas Sparks book. I am still a man and I can still do my best to keep the promises, commitments, and covenants I've made. So can you. Go get your Wonder Woman.

 If you aren't there right now, be patient with yourselves and try to do a bit better everyday. As long as you are headed in the direction of being a better man than you are right now, you are doing good. Remember that our perfect example for what a man should be is our savior Jesus Christ. If you're going to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to him. Then remember how merciful and patient he is with us. He loves us and he wants us to become like him. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I have felt God's hand in my life every step of the way. Never ever should we give up on ourselves because we aren't where we want to be because he will never give up on us. Life is precious, don't give up on it. Just believe that you can change and then do it. The darkness will pass as you constantly reach towards the savior. There is always going to be a brighter tomorrow for you to shoot for, so don't judge your entire life on where you are today. 

"...Therefore, what manner of men ought ye 

to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am."

3 Nephi 27:27

If you need a how to guide ;)

https://youtu.be/oRaCLj1Ux0I

Turtles, Ties, and Puppies!

It's summer!

That doesn't actually mean too much for me though. But it does still feel different than the normal school year, and I am excited! I am doing a lot of things that will be a bit challenging, but what better a time do them? The Young Single Adult population in Tucson has drastically dwindled for the summer, so I had better find something to do! Here's what I am up to this summer:
- An internship at Eye Care and Cure. I started last Monday. It's pretty cool. Lots of hands on work, which I am not really used to. In a lot of ways it beats sitting behind a desk all day.
- A biology class at Pima Community College. It's a lower division class that I neglected taking a few years back. The material is simple, but it is time consuming. The summer only adds to that because everything is so condensed. I got 100% on my first test today though so that's good.
- Both Organic Chemistry Labs at U of A. I took the lectures during the school year. So again, I don't think the material will be too hard, just time consuming.
- Studying to retake the OAT (optometry admissions test). I already took it last year, and I did well enough to get accepted into most schools, but I would like to really crush it and give myself even more of an opportunity. I also took it before I had completed at least six courses who's materials were included on the test. I have now completed most of those course, so hopefully I can do better.
- Singing in the Cornerstone Dedication of the Tucson Temple. I know what you're thinking, I can't sing. While that's true, I'm excited to work really hard and hopefully develop a new skill. What a wonderful opportunity that's truly once in a lifetime. I'm glad I was picked to participate.
- Attempting to have a social life.
- Skateboarding.

I'll catch you up on some highlights of my summer so far!

My Grandma Debbie has retired from Burns Pest Elimination! She has been there for 18 years so it was kind of surreal. I can tell she doesn't know what to do. It was funny, I called her yesterday, which was her last official day of work, and I asked her what she was going to do the next day. She was just like uhh... Well I'll go to the bank... and uhhh idk. She will get to help my Aunt Sherri bake some cakes or something  on Friday. She was so excited for that because she has never really been able to do things like that. She has worked full time almost her entire life, including when she was raising 5 children. I am so happy for her and my grandpa, who also retired :)

I found a freaking TURTLE!! Technically a tortoise. A sulcatta or something like that. It was in the middle of the road right down the street from my house. It was definitely someone's pet, but there was no way of knowing whose it was. So Caroline and I took it to my friend Brittany's grandma's house who also has another Sulcatta turtle. And she loves her. Even if we do find the owner, which doesn't look too promising at this point, I don't see grandma giving her up anytime soon. I'll attach some pics.






We have had some pretty fun game nights! I've had to make new friends and so far I haven't scared anyone off! So we're doing something right!

Friday Night we went up to Mount Lemmon for a ward activity. We set up all the tents for girls camp, and tbh I had a blast. I wasn't too sure if I was gonna go, but ended up going with Aaron and Joel. We played an epic game of Werewolf (literally the best I've ever played, shout out to Matthew Grabinger for being a Lycan and confusing everyone). Then in the morning I got up early and started to prepare a talk I was giving the next day. There's nothing better than a peaceful scripture study up in the mountains, early in the morning. I have received sacred revelation in places like that. The peace and serenity that can be felt are so great.

On saturday I went to Mesa for the night, and I hung out with Jenny and her mom. Her mom was super fun and literally acted like she was our age. At one point she even encouraged me to "just make out" with someone haha. We went to Frost at San Tan and subsequently ended up at Barnes and Noble, which is my favorite. I've yet to meet a member of the Aranda family I don't like!

My mom got a new puppy! Same as my other dog Romeo, just smaller and a girl. I'll post a pic.



On Sunday I gave a talk. This was the fifth talk I've given in the last 8 or 9 months, and honestly besides my little scripture study on the mountains I didn't do much to prepare. There was the slightest touch of arrogance that I was carrying around with me because I knew I could give a decent talk. That came back to bite me it the butt, hard. After leaving jennys on saturday my engine guard came loose on the bottom of my car. I was dragging it and throwing sparks while driving down the 202. That was fun, and I didn't get home until very late, leaving no time to finish my talk. I told myself I would finish it in the morning. Yeah right. By the time I got out of the shower in the morning it was 8:45 and I needed to leave for Tucson to give my talk at 11. I told myself I would get there a few minutes early and put the finishing touches on it. As I was driving I had the impression that I should include in my talk the difference between church culture and the actual doctrine of Jesus Christ. I just couldn't think of how I was going to do that over the pulpit without accidentally offending someone or any traditions that they might hold near and dear to their hearts. Because to be honest it is actually a good thing to have certain customs or cultural norms that we follow, but it's when we allow those things to take precedence over the true essence of the Gospel that we can get into trouble and really miss the mark. I decided to dismiss that thought since I couldn't see how I could fit it in with so little time. Well, it's funny how the Lord works in mysterious ways (cue the forest gump voice). On the way there I realized I did not have a tie, and I did not want to take the time to run home and grab it since that would be cutting it pretty close. I called my roommate and asked him to grab me a tie and bring it to church. He didn't know I was giving a talk, so I don't think he sensed any urgency in the situation. He also wasn't feeling very well, which I didn't know. Anyways, I got to church around 10:45 and my roommate was nowhere in sight. 10:55, still no roommate. I'm freaking out at this point as I have no tie and only about 4 bullet points written down for my talk. At 11 oclock he texted me and told me he would be leaving the house soon.... Meltdown mode. I admitted defeat and slowly walked up to the stand... with no tie and with virtually no talk. To make matters worse, I found out I was going first. I was shaking I was so scared.  Guys giving talks is my thing! I'm an extrovert times 10 and I might speak every week if they asked me to. But this day was different. I felt so embarrassed, but I decided to just suck it up and put together what I could during the sacrament. I realized that this was the perfect situation to teach the difference between culture and doctrine, because guess what! Wearing a tie is a part of our culture not our doctrine. We are asked to wear ties and we should do so. There's nothing wrong with it and it can help promote a certain level of professionalism and reverence that should be present at church, but there isn't any actual power in the tie. The power is in Jesus Christ.
I calmed myself down, gathered my thoughts, and gave my talk. It was one of the best talks I've ever given. At least that is how I felt about it because i learned a powerful lesson that day. When the Lord needs something done, he'll get it done. He is the one who provides the power so that our words reach the hearts of those we teach. It doesn't matter how skilled we think we are or how much knowledge we believe we have, we will always need our Heavenly Fathers help. He'll humble us to make us remember that if necessary. He'll also provide us with spiritual help and power even if sometimes we don't totally deserve it. I'm grateful that the Lord found it worthwhile to help me, as insignificant as I am, to deliver a talk. I'm sure someone needed to hear what he had to say.

After church I had a meeting with Bishop Call. He is a great friend and I appreciate the loving help he offers to me and others in our ward. He's a good man.

The rest of the week consisted of two pool parties for memorial day. Work and school the rest of the week, and three movie nights. Shout out to Maddy Truman for being a constant at all three of those movie nights. She seems to just follow me around....

Tucson Temple Open House starts on Saturday! Make sure you come on down to see it!