Where Repentance and Fatherhood Meet

One of the more well known parables in the Bible is the story of the prodigal son. There are so many different lessons that can be drawn from this one parable. You could do an entire lesson on the repentance of the young man who had lost his way. You could talk about the love and forgiveness of the young man's father upon his return. I've even heard spectacular sermons being taught on the young man's brother, "the other prodigal", and how important it is for us to overcome feelings of jealousy and unfairness. These are all such great things to be learned and I appreciate them, but there is one principle in particular that has influenced me greatly in the last few weeks. I believe the foundation for this principle was laid long before the opening of the story. It's simply the story of how great an example this father was to his sons and the impact it ultimately had on his wayward child.

Let's start at the beginning. The young son comes to his father and asks for his half of the inheritance, which he quickly goes out and wastes in what the scriptures call "riotous living." The Father had to know that this would happen. He probably knew his son better than anyone, and he knew that his son was not old enough or responsible enough to handle all that money, but he gave it to him anyways. I think this Father understood the importance of personal agency very well, and he knew that his son needed to choose for himself and learn from his own experience. He already knew where his son's heart was, and that with or without the money he would go off on his own and rebel. His dad was more concerned about maintaining a loving relationship with his son, because he knew that if his son did ever decide to change he wanted him to know that he had a place to come back to, and that's exactly what happened. Once the son came to himself, he realized that he could return to his father and that his father would take him in, even if it was just as a servant. Of course, his dad took him in as much more than a servant. It was a happy and loving reunion that only happened because of the righteous and loving example this father showed to his son. Find this in Luke chapter 15

Another scriptural example that has been impressed upon my mind lately is from the Book of Mormon. The story of Alma the younger is a staple for teaching change and repentance in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's the story of a young man and his friends who go around attempting to destroy the church and who are even called "The Vilest of Sinners." Once, while they were going around being punks, an angel visits them and knocks them to the ground and commands them to stop what they are doing. Poor Alma is knocked unconscious for three days, but once he wakes up he is completely changed. He later goes on to become a beloved and inspired prophet and the high priest of the church. It is even suggested that he never physically died and that he was taken up even as Moses was. That's pretty incredible, right? A "vile sinner" could change so much that he could become one of God's chosen servants and mouthpieces here on Earth? Of course he can, that is the nature of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. People can change. 

What I think I always overlooked in this story, however, was the role that Alma the Elder, Alma's father, played in his son's conversion. The angel declared that he was there because the Lord had heard the prayers of his servant Alma. So the angel was there, in part, because a father had been praying for his son. What really gets me though is the next part. When Alma the Younger is close to the end of his life and giving fatherly advice to his own sons, he reflects upon that experience he had with the angel. Here are his own words:

16 And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.

17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. (Alma 36:16-19)

In the end, it was a memory of his Father's example that helped him come to Christ and change, just like the Prodigal son with his father. Good fathers have an impact on their children that sometimes might not be recognized until much later on. Notice that I did not say perfect fathers. We don't know anything about the life of the prodigal's father, but I'm sure he had things to overcome. We do know that Alma the Elder was at one point one of the wicked priests of King Noah and that he did some pretty bad stuff. Imagine, for a second, that he had not fled from King Noah and changed his life. He never would have been able to become the father that his son would have needed in order to become a prophet and disciple of Jesus Christ, and that would have been a tragedy. 

Sometimes, however, fathers don't change their lives and they aren't good examples for their children. We see these poisonous cycles happen all the time, and they give some truth to the saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." This can be a scary thought, because I think we all see things in our parents that we don't want to carry over into our own lives. In response to these feelings, I would like to mention a story I heard a few months ago in Church. I was in Gilbert for the weekend, and I wasn't completely sure where I wanted to go to church. I ended up hanging out with one of my buddies, and he invited me to come to his new ward with him because it would be his first day, so I tagged along. An older man spoke, and I know that I had needed to hear that message. My father is amazing, and I love him to death. He is quite literally my best friend. But he has been divorced twice, and that has always been in the back of my mind. I don't judge him for that, and I know his circumstances were a lot different than mine, but the idea of getting married has always terrified me because sometimes I really doubt that I can do it successfully. Well the man that gave a talk spoke about how when he was getting engaged, his father was on his fifth marriage. That caused a lot of anxiety and fear and he even broke up with his girlfriend because of it! Later, he said that the spirit whispered to him "you don't have to be like him." It was a simple phrase, but obviously it changed his life because he was able to convince her to take him back and they have been together for like forty years or something. My story is not nearly as extreme, and I want to be like my dad in a lot of things, but what I learned  was that if there is something about our family heritage we don't like, we have the power to change it. We are not stuck in what has happened before, rather we can actually be a powerful influence for those that come after us.

I'll end with this. I love my Dad. He's not perfect, but no one is. We haven't been able to see each other as much since I've moved to Tucson, but one of my favorite things to do has and always will be going to see a movie with him and then standing in the parking lot with him just talking about life. We've been doing that ever since I can remember, and it always makes me so happy. He has always been quick to give advice and impart wisdom to me when I need it, and sometimes he doesn't even know that I need it.

In a book I'm reading there is a part where the author asks you to envision being at your own funeral in three years. Who would speak? What would they say about you? It was such a peaceful, eye-opening experience. The only person I could see was my father, telling everybody in the congregation how proud he was of the man I had become. I could feel his love for me as I pictured this, and it forever changed the way I see him.

Happy Father's Day.