Doubting the Obvious

Did you ever hear the story of the man who was stranded at sea? He prayed fervently for the Lord to save him, but each time a boat came by to rescue him, he would say "No thanks, I am waiting on the Lord." Eventually the man drowned and went to Heaven. When he arrived he angrily asked God why he hadn't saved him, to which God replied "I sent you three boats!"

Occasionally, we can allow ourselves to become so focused on what we think God should give us or show us, that we completely miss what he really wants for us. I had an experience like that recently, and it took me awhile to snap out of it. I had to recognize the "boats" in my own life before I recognized God's hand in my life. I'm going to share that a little further on, but first, I think a story from the Book of Mormon is particularly instructive.

Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet, received many visions from the Lord concerning the Gospel and the last days. The visions were powerful, compelling, and forever changed the future of Lehi’s life and that of his posterity. These visions, however, appear to have received pretty mixed reviews from Lehi’s own family. Some for better and some for worse. His son Nephi said this:

"17 And it came to pass after I, Nephi, having heard all the ^awords of my father, concerning the things which he saw in a ^bvision, and also the things which he spake by the power of the Holy Ghost, which power he received by faith on the Son of God--and the Son of God was the ^cMessiah who should come--I, Nephi, was ^ddesirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of these things, by the power of the ^eHoly Ghost, which is the ^fgift of God unto ^gall those who diligently seek him, as well in times of ^hold as in the time that he should manifest himself unto the children of men." (1 Nephi 10:17)

Nephi then went on to pray unto the Lord and was carried away in His spirit. In visions that expounded on what his father had already shared with him, Nephi was shown the coming of John the Baptist, Mary giving birth to the Lamb of God, the baptism and ministry of Jesus Christ in Jerusalem, the atonement of Jesus Christ, the visions of John the Beloved, the Great Apostasy, the coming of Christ to the Americas, the utter destruction of the Nephite civilization, the eventual colonization of the American continent, and the restoration of the Gospel in the last days. Nephi was shown one of the most vivid and important divine revelations in human history, just because he asked. Imagine how frustrated he must have been when he returned from that heavenly experience to find his brothers, Laman and Lemuel, arguing over what their father had said:

"6 And it came to pass that after I had received ^astrength I spake unto my brethren, desiring to know of them the cause of their disputations.

7 And they said: Behold, we cannot understand the words which our father hath spoken concerning the natural branches of the ^aolive tree, and also concerning the Gentiles.

8 And I said unto them: Have ye ^ainquired of the Lord?

9 And they said unto me: ^aWe have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us." (1 Nephi 15:6-9)

Look at the contrast between these two experiences. They had all heard the same information from their father, but Nephi was the only one humble enough to go and ask God. Laman and Lemuel were too hung up on the fact that they didn’t believe God could answer their prayers, while Nephi on the other hand knew for a fact that he did. He had just experienced it personally. He had just seen one of the most complex visions recorded in all scripture, but his personal experience could have no effect on the unwilling minds and hearts of his brothers. It was Nephi’s trust in God to help him resolve his doubts that made the difference.

I think the message here is pretty clear. Elder Anderson taught that "Spiritual questions deserve spiritual answers from God." If we want to know God’s will, we have to ask him ourselves. We have to go to the source. If we allow our pre-existing beliefs to keep us from trusting God enough to see what He thinks, then we will never be able to find the answer we are looking for. When we "look past the mark" we don’t allow Heavenly Father to guide us in his own way, and what better way could there be than that of the Almighty God?

That doesn’t mean that we ignore our doubts or concerns, but it does mean that we don’t trust our own thoughts or the opinions of others more than we trust God. We also shouldn’t allow that which we don’t understand to block us from asking God or from partaking in the blessings of the Gospel. I have felt that before. I have become so consumed with what Joseph Smith did or didn’t do that for a time I completely stopped asking the question that really matters; was Joseph Smith called of God? Heavenly Father knows whether or not that is true better than anyone, and by the power of the Holy Ghost he will give us an answer. Once I have a spiritual confirmation from God, I can then place even the most troubling historical events into their appropriate context.

 If I don’t stop and ask God though, then I may become as Laman and Lemuel, constantly questioning and doubting without truly seeking guidance from the correct source. This even started to happen to me recently as I read a critically acclaimed biography on Joseph Smith. There wasn’t much information that I hadn’t heard before, but the power of God was completely taken out of the equation for academic purposes. There was nothing that was "faith-destroying" and the book was written by an active member of the LDS church. The book was written with good intentions and has been a source for many struggling with whether or not Joseph Smith was a prophet to better understand the historical context of his life. It was good information and it was helpful, but it soon became a distraction and I started to slack on my faithful study of the Gospel. I was only focusing on historical aspects of things, and I wasn't stopping to think of who was at the center of it all; Jesus Christ. We only believe Joseph Smith to have been a servant of Jesus Christ, but I wasn't contemplating the aspects of Joseph's life that expressly connected his work to the Savior’s plan. I saw only the raw uncensored life of a man, but I ignored God's power in all of it. Slowly I started feeling my light dim, and almost completely under my nose doubt and spiritual fatigue started to creep in. I continued to pray, read, and attend the temple as arduously as possible, but I couldn’t seem to shake myself out of my funk. It wasn’t even about Joseph Smith anymore, but I realized that I had a hard time believing anything that had to do with spiritual matters. I couldn’t read about any type of divine miracle without a figurative asterisk entering my mind. I couldn’t even think of my past without remembering the sad times or the mistakes that I had made. Everything in my life, past and present, had a dull undertone to it, and I was completely exhausted. I still believed and deep down inside I knew that I would climb out of it, but the despair that set in was all too real. I knew that I needed to allow the healing power of Jesus Christ to flow into my life once again, but I wasn’t quite sure how to do that. One night as I sat on the couch with my girlfriend (she was a lifesaver), I told her I just wanted to know again that God loved me. I wanted to feel that same spiritual enthusiasm I had always felt. She reminded that he did love me, and that everything would be okay. 

 The following day I found that love I was looking for in the form of a job offer. A few months before, I sent my resume to a few different optometrists in the valley asking if they had any openings for the summer. I knew it was a longshot because I would only have a couple of months to work before leaving for school, and I figured not many people were going to train someone just so they could have them leave right away. No one ever really got back to me, so I started looking for other jobs. Once June started, I completely gave up on any hope of working at an optometrist’s office over the summer. Summer was short enough of as is, and we were already almost a third of the way through! Then, in the second week of June, the day after I asked for a reminder of God’s love for me, I was offered a job in the office of a doctor that specialized in neuro-optometry. She apologized that my resume had been sort of lost in translation for a couple months, but that they would be interested in bringing me in for the summer. I got exactly what I was looking for, at exactly the right time. It wasn’t a vision or a miraculous revelation by any means, but it did flip the whole script inside my mind. Over the past few years opportunities in Optometry have been some of the best outlets for God to answer my prayers, and I knew that this one especially came from Him. I knew, or perhaps just remembered, that he loved me.

Soon after, I started the Book of Mormon over again, but this time I went out of my way to study carefully and faithfully, focusing specifically on the power and grace of Jesus Christ exhibited by its teachings. After just one study session I felt the Holy Ghost bring peace back into my heart, and after a couple days I felt the pure ebbs and flows of faith return to my soul. I started to find the answers that God intended for me, and stopped focusing on worldly information that would never completely suffice.

We all struggle with different things and our faith is challenged in many different ways. Some of us have questions and doubts that bother us for years that others may not even think twice about. We each have a unique journey, but my testimony is that he knows each of our journey’s perfectly. Combine that perfect knowledge with his perfect love, and we have the perfect guide to take us by the hand and pull us out of darkness and confusion. He will never give up on us, and we should never give up on him. 

When we have spiritual concerns or questions, true answers will come from God by the power of the Holy Ghost. If we trust in our own wisdom, and look only for what we believe those answers should look like, we’ll miss the sometimes subtle help God is extending towards us.

"8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

"…But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender ^cmercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of ^ddeliverance." (1 Nephi 1:20)